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Joke of the Day

"A man asks his wife ""Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?"" The wife says ""I don't like calling you when you're at work!"""

"What is a computer programmer's favorite moon? Io"

"What is red and bad for your teeth? A Brick."

"what's the deal with ""airplane food?"" newsflash, jerry: it's called jet fuel."

"I was making a recipe that called for tapioca flour, but we were all out. Thankfully, my wife figured out I could substitute corn starch. Clabber girl."

"Therapist: what was it like growing up? Me: I just [reaches for tissues] kept getting taller."

"My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct"

"My Indian colleague asked me if black Friday is some how related to black people, I said yes and its manners to wish them ""Happy Blacks Friday""."

"What is the driest soda you can buy? Baking soda."

"I never reflect more on the terrible things I might have said or done than when you take longer than 10 minutes to text me back."