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Joke of the Day

"My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct"

"Why do college frat boys drink before bathing? Buds before suds, bro."

"If the pensieve from Harry Potter could think... It would be thoughtful."

"Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes."

"Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit? /r/explainlikeimfive"

"Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s? He puts down the three and carries the one."

"My wife is fat. Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"Adobe released a new digital ruler today. It's a bit short though, so they codenamed it... Napoleon, because it's a short ruler. No, seriously: http://xdce.adobe.com/mighty/"

"TIL that I'm dyslexic. Whoops, wrong bus."

"How do you get the GOP to support universal healthcare? Make it for *White* people only."