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Joke of the Day

"I was making a recipe that called for tapioca flour, but we were all out. Thankfully, my wife figured out I could substitute corn starch. Clabber girl."

"My friend started making bird puns towards me. Toucan play at that game!"

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"What do you call an elf that follows Scientology? Elron Hubbard"

"A dentist recently had to pull some teeth The pain was bad enough, but when they told me I would have to drink directly from the glass for a whole day, that was the last straw."

"Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers."

"You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener."

"Why are criticisms of Donald Trump unfair? Because they always take his statements out of Kampftext."

"How many dead hookers does it take to replace a light bulb? At least more than eight, the light in my basement still doesn't work..."

"Mom wants me to have a baby girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.And I want a sane mother who isn't oblivious to my Italian bloodline."