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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend played the cello and I loved it. But recently she gave up the cello and took up the violin, so I had to break up with her. Because I'm all about that bass, no treble."

Next Joke
 
"My Grandad woke up with a puzzled look on his face. The daft b*stard had fallen asleep on his jigsaw."
"Q: What do ghosts like to chew? A: Boobble gum."
"I'm so tired of people saying Hillary sucks... She doesn't. Just ask Bill and Monica."
"Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot."
"Today I found my first grey pubic hair... I got really excited, but not as much as the other people on the bus."
"What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted"
"I wish vaginas were like MacBooks. Macs don't get viruses."
"Car next to me in liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has SEVEN kids. I better get in there quick! She's gonna buy it all."
"I know a guy who doesn't love Raymond."