2399

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend played the cello and I loved it. But recently she gave up the cello and took up the violin, so I had to break up with her. Because I'm all about that bass, no treble."

"idk about you but I still remember what I was doing when I found out Kennedy had been shot: sitting at home, reading the JFK Wikipedia page"

"I've been offered a new, highly demanding job testing the new Super-strength Viagra'. I think I'll take it, how hard can it be?"

"What is Kanye West's favorite kind of omelette? Omelette you finish"

"My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital? Because he wasn't peeling very well."

"a little jewish boy asks his dad for fifty dollars. his dad says: ""40 dollars? what do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed... Try crystal meth, it really is a miracle drug. *disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected."

"What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical? plague-arism"

"Why do neckbeard dentists love Cats the musical? Because m'cavity."

"(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) They see me rolling. They hating."