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Joke of the Day

"I wish vaginas were like MacBooks. Macs don't get viruses."

"What's the most sensitive part of your body after you masturbate? Your sense of guilt"

"I bought a blowup doll today, but I won't blow her up until tomorrow. I don't want to seem desperate."

"It's kinda bullshit that carpenter ants can't even build IKEA furniture."

"I like my women like I like my water Wet and slippery on the floor."

"What did Jesus say to Mohammed...? What did Jesus say to Mohammed? 'I died for you' What did Mohammed say in return? 'How many did you take with you?'"

"FB sent me a notification. It said my meth lab on Farmville blew up."

"Did you hear about the man with five penises? His condom fits like a glove."

"Once I had completed my final exam, my professor told me to turn it in to one of the teaching assistants. Good thing I have been practicing my origami."

"[zoo] Hey dad, where are mountain lions from? *dad panics* -Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much..."