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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do ghosts like to chew? A: Boobble gum."

"Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione? Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch"

"[shows jury picture of gruesome murder scene] *they all gasp* That was my initial reaction too. Those shoes with those pants?"

"""STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO"", I yell to my 5 year old."

"I won the meat raffle in the bar. Wasn't the answer my kids were expecting when they asked how I met their mother."

"Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day. Patron 2: I don't tip either."

"What does a Persistent Jedi do when he gets destroyed in a race? An all day run"

"It's now politically correct to award kids trophies for last place. On a related note, 'trophy wife' has become rather ambiguous."

"All work and no play... .... makes Abraham Lincoln a full term president. Im going to hell."

"Happy poops are all alike; every unhappy poop is unhappy in its own way."