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Joke of the Day

"A little girl comes home after school: ""Mommy, mommy, someone at school called me a dumb bitch."" ""What does dumb mean ?"""

"How many lead trumpets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, he just holds the light bulb up, and the world revolves around him."

"What is a terrorist's favorite wine? White Infidel."

"What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times? Windows 10."

"Hilary Clinton is trying to appear more normal by using the subway... ..., but Bernie Sanders claims she only uses it one tenth of one percent as much as he does."

"What do you have.... ...when you have one green ball in your right hand, and one green ball in your left hand. Answer: Complete control of the Jolly Green Giant."

"A lawyer walks into a bar... exam. I just thought of this one. Not sure if I'm the first."

"People are wondering who will win the 2016 Presidential election, but I already know who will win the next election. That's because I've got 2020 vision."

"My own ass has been talking shit... but it's just a bunch of hot air."

"I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud..."