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Joke of the Day
"Women are like buses... very few will let you come in through the back door."
Next Joke
"What does an agnostic ... dyslexic insomniac do at night? He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog."
"How can you tell if a Redditor is a female? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
"Boss: ""You're an hour late!"" Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: ""Haven't you heard?"""
"If I don't mention you, then the tweet/status wasn't about you. But if the shoe fits, then lace that bitch up and wear it."
"Asian keanu Asian Keanu arrives at a party Asian Keanu gets bored Asian keanu Reeves"
"Why do scuba divers always jump backwards off the boat? If they jumped forwards, they would still be on the boat! Sorry."
"""It is scary how much false attribution of quotes occurs on Twitter."" - Mark Twain"
"Why is it best to wear leather when sneaking around? It's made of hide"
"I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out ""stop it"" every 30 min"