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Joke of the Day
"Women are like buses... very few will let you come in through the back door."
Next Joke
"ayo girl are you an unanswered email? bc you are stressing me tf out"
"WIFE: don't be weird at the party tonight ME: am i ever weird? [dinner party] CHERYL: how's the soup taste? ME: like the blood of my enemies"
"Why did the blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means stop ;D"
"Why was the burger thrown out of the Army? He couldn't pass mustard! (muster)"
"I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband."
"What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels."
"Hid my daughters ipod in my other daughters room cause they've been getting along lately and there's nothing on tv tonight."
"A black guy with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The Bartender says, ""Hey, that is really something. Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa,"" says the parrot."
"What do you call a Mexican lady with no legs? Cunt-sway-low"