109661

Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba divers always jump backwards off the boat? If they jumped forwards, they would still be on the boat! Sorry."

"I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English."

"What's worse than a chauvinist man? A woman who doesn't know her place."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side."

"What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis? Massage a knee."

"A terminally ill man asked his doctor how much longer he had to live. The doctor responded, ""Ten."" ""What do you mean, ten? Ten years? Ten months? Ten-"" ""Nine... Eight..."""

"If athletes get Athlete's Foot, what do astronauts get? Missle Toe."

"Hey does anyone know how to spell antidisestablishmentarianism?"

"Dear Grocery Bagger, Please don't put dryer sheets and bread in the same bag. My kids don't like peanut butter & Spring Meadow sandwiches."

"If Trump had a brick for every lie Hillary has said He'd be able to build the wall for free."