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Joke of the Day

"Dad says to me, you'd be a great fisherman Because you check the net all the time"

"Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift? A: 32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register."

"Why did God create the orgasm? So women can moan even when they're happy."

"If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite."

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn't put it down."

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying."

"Why was the doctor in a hurry to move to the big city? He was running out of patients."

"The Nokia 3310 was ahead of its time... Dust proof, water proof, had a nearly infinite battery life, indestructible, AND no audio jack!"

"when zombies can't sleep it's called inzombnia holy shit that was a huge slice of comedy pie I bet you're all full now I sure am"