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Joke of the Day

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"what I love about whole foods is you can fit $50 worth of groceries in a stylish evening clutch"

"Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus? He refused to integrate."

"""This is the police! Put your hands up where I can see 'em!"" ""But I can't-"" ""Now!"" *t-rex panics*"

"Who invented cereals? Chris P."

"I ran into my ex today. Long story short, my car is totaled."

"A guy walks into a bar... It hurt."

"It's a bird! It's a plane- -OH SHIT A PLANE IS COMING TOWARDS THE BUILDING"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side"

"Why are cars slower than planes Because they're tired. PS. First post here.."