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Joke of the Day

"I think my intelligence is beyond of an average human I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and at the back of the box it says 2-4 years"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger is a Republican whose wife is a member of the Kennedy family. That makes him and his family...The Red Kennedys."

"[getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut."

"To girls suffering from a case of too many friend requests: Here is a free tip Put some clothes on and post your real pictures without Photoshop or makeup. Problem solved!"

"Did you hear about the mathematician ghost? ""No"" Well, Its the spirit that counts."

"Why are crime rates down in the US? Because criminals keep turning themselves into police."

"A starfish has five arms. An anablep has four eyes. An octopus has three hearts. And you've got two faces."

"Old classic light bulb. How many people on a beach does it take to screw in a light bulb? depends on how many survivors there are. too soon."

"I once tried to be a cat... It didn't go pur-fectly, but it went well... ( )"

"How do you get a hippie pregnant? You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."