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Joke of the Day
"If there was an award for being the laziest guy ever I would send someone else to get it for me."
Next Joke
"Don't ask God to cure cancer & world poverty. He's too busy finding you a parking space & fixing the weather for your barbecue."
"MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED"
"Why do women make such great plumbers? They like to bring up shit from the past."
"Kanye's daughter's first hit single. . . North by North West"
"How to have a seance Ance. Ok you're turn."
"We Don't Swerve Blondes Here"
"[Obama giving Trump the White House tour] O: and here's the toaster, it tends to stick so don't be afraid to jam a fork in to get it workin"
"Why do software developers make the best relationship partners? because they're not afraid of committing."
"Where does the military commander buy his groceries? the GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY"