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Joke of the Day
"For my next trick I need a condom and a volunteer..."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a *great* year."
"Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the new year's eve Times Square ball drop? Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)"
"The rotation of the earth. It really makes my day."
"Boss: You're late! On Friday, I made it clear that anyone arriving late would be fired Me: Well I didn't know! I ducked out early on Friday"
"What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common? Both want to be real boys"
"Where did the orphans go after the Orphanage blew up? Everywhere"
"You can't boss me around until you're older than the whiskey I drink. -subtweet to my GF"
"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"
"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a jar of peanut butter? A: An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth."