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Joke of the Day
"You can't boss me around until you're older than the whiskey I drink. -subtweet to my GF"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend broke up with me over my obsession with linkin park. But in the end it doesn't even matter."
"Glenn Frey What did they call Glenn Frey when he was in the hospital? An Illeagle"
"How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Both of them."
"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.."
"I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould.... I think I've set a dangerous president."
"Where is Waldo? How do you find a blind man at an orgy? It's not hard."
"Donald Trump, his publicist, and his ghostwriter walk into a bar... ""So you're alone tonight, Donnie?"""
"For a good party trick, drill a hole in the top of your medicine cabinet and fill it with marbles before you invite people over."
"The stock market plunge of 2008 was worse than a divorce... I lost half of everything, but I still have my wife!"