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Joke of the Day

"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"

"A monk to another, ""O! master, is it proper for a monk to use email?"" ""Sure, as long as there are no attachments"", replied the other."

"70 yr old boss: i have the body of a fit 30 yr old. Me: where? Buried in your rose garden?"

"ST BERNARD DOG: [getting ready for work] Honey have you seen my barrel? WIFE: Which one? SBD: The little one I wear AROUND MY NECK EVERY DAY"

"Husband says to his wife ""do you smell that"" wife says ""no?"" Husband says ""me neither so start cooking"""

"I'm so glad l had piles of paperwork on my desk to soak up the coffee I spilled."

"How did Hitler check the price of his clothes? He looked at the Reichstag."

"Damn bro, judging by your handshake I would hate to be your d*ck."

"There was a puppy named Joke... He died, and that was the end of the Joke..."

"Asked my 65yo mom what she'd like for Christmas and she said ""Surprise me"". Hope she likes her new pet python."