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Joke of the Day

"The rotation of the earth. It really makes my day."

"While driving, I hit a car driven by a little person. He ran up to me and said ""Hey asshole! I'm not happy!"", to which I replied.... ....""So which one *are* you then? """

"What is the most popular ethnic snack among Programmers? NaN"

"I went to an art contest recently... It ended in a draw."

"""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft."

"Women: underwear are not hot pants/short shorts. THEY ARE UNDERWEAR AND YOU GIVE ME A BONER"

"Judging by the commercials, only old white guys with sailboats can suffer from erectile dysfunction."

"We're gonna party like its 1999. //breaks out Nokia flip phone and starts to panick about Y2K//"

"What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves? Your mom."

"Why was the skeleton alone at prom? Because he had no body to go with!"