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Joke of the Day

"[at bar] ""Yeah I pulled down a solid 6 figs last year."" Whoa that's impressive! ""I know, right! Can't believe I got fired by that fig farm."""

"Why is six afraid of seven... Because seven is a registered six offender."

"Don't let him know you're a hologram. Don't let him know you're a hologram. Interviewer: You've got the job! *extends hand* Me: Dammit"

"What kind of tea does an anarchist drink? Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft."

"What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard?"

"""millennials sure do love APPS!!"" i can edit a movie on my phone. you used to harass women for recreation. go back to watching suits grandpa"

"My favorite jokes are ones about Pavlov. I always laugh at them without even thinking about it!"

"How often do you hear element jokes on Reddit? Periodically!"

"this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this"

"Dear God, I asked about atheism today."