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Joke of the Day

"My favorite jokes are ones about Pavlov. I always laugh at them without even thinking about it!"

"Helen Keller wouldnt know what a dick was if it hit her in the face."

"A social gathering without food is called a ""Don't."""

"1) Bake cake. 2) Don't cut it into pieces. 3) Eat the whole thing. 4) Claim I ate ""only one piece of cake."""

"[meeting GF's mom] Wow! This must be your sister! Your baby sister! *shakes keys in front of her face* I'm overselling this, aren't I?"

"Massive explosion at a French cheese factory, first responders say cause is still unknown. All that was left was de brie."

"Girl, if your beauty was represented in stocks, I'd invest everything... Because you're at an all-time low. (Use it to seal the deal on Valentine's Day)"

"I used to think I was indecisive... but now I'm not so sure."

"I wanna die by getting stuck my lightning Shocking, I know."

"Sometimes I wonder if I need to spell it out to people.. But then I realised I typed it, so I already did spell it out."