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Joke of the Day

"Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human? He was just chasing tail."

"Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie? White privilege"

"I told my girlfriend her bond villain nickname is Winter Snow... Because she is so flakey I then called her Nigerian Prince for not delivering on her promises. True story"

"In 1976, my friend asked me when's the last time I had sex... I replied, ""1950"" He responded, ""that's a long time ago.."" And I said, ""not really, it's only 2150 now."""

"So two condoms walk into a bar.. .. They quickly realize that it is a gay bar. One condom turns to the other and says, ""Dude. We are gonna get shitfaced tonight!"""

"Why can't I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!"

"At Twitter HQ J: Users haven't complained in a while, what's going on? Devs: Oh, we've got just the thing *releases update"

"Have you heard about the new movie, ""Constipation""? It hasn't come out yet."

"As my friend Joe's last wish I had him cremated and sprinkled his ashes into the coffee pots at work..all morning everyone had a cup of Joe"

"How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ? Take away it's credit cards !"