53558

Joke of the Day

"I told my girlfriend her bond villain nickname is Winter Snow... Because she is so flakey I then called her Nigerian Prince for not delivering on her promises. True story"

"Why do people call memes ""dank""? Because they release dopameme!"

"For you Atlanta Ga folks Welcome to Decatur, where the men are men and so are the women. Welcome to Midtown, where the women are women and so are the men."

"""You can hide but you can't run,"" -- Mama tortoise giving the lowdown to her kids"

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it's down a chimney."

"My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates."

"I started carrying a gun after an attempted mugging a few years ago Since then my muggings have been much more successful."

"Brown and sticky Whats Brown and sticky? A Stick"

"My wife and I are both feminists But I'm a man so I'm a bit better than her at it"

"One of those trendy avant chefs offered to cook me whale today. I said, please don't... That would make me blubber!"