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Joke of the Day

"Your wife and your lawyer are both drowning. You've got a choice to make. Do you go to lunch or a movie ?"

"Therapist: Are you a man or a mouse? Mickey: Quite frankly, I was hoping you could tell me."

"I carry an epipen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"Clinton Campaign Hillary's Clinton's response to allegations of receiving money from foreign governments to fund her campaign: ""I did NOT have financial relations with those countries!"""

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Feminists don't change anything"

"As my girlfriend was trying on jeans, a clerk asked her ""Need a bigger size?"" I saw the look on her face and went to make room in the trunk."

"Oh, Fox News! LOL! You wacky, bigoted fucks!"

"Q: What do you call an 800 pound gorilla? A: Anything he wants to be called."

"A woman isn't really heartbroken unless she does something drastic to her hair."

"""Challlaaaaaah"" -hip hop rabbi"