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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: Are you a man or a mouse? Mickey: Quite frankly, I was hoping you could tell me."

"I told my physics teacher I had a problem with gravity. But he told me to drop it."

"Don't ever ask me about the time my anus prolapsed. Its a long ass story."

"Well, I did it again. I focused on the one person at the concert who annoyed me and let it ruin my whole night."

"Why did Kennedy throw his head back? He was taking a shot."

"Why do people wish they had a nickel for every time something happens instead of 5 MILLION DOLLARS?"

"Hi. My name is Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10"

"What part of New York has the most feminists? Manhatin'"

"If I was a villain, I would follow superheroes to their normal human interviews for jobs & note what they answer as their biggest weaknesses"

"What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail? Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world."