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Joke of the Day

"that's a rather intricate bullet proof vest ur wearing ""this is a front-side baby carrier. this is my baby.."" dude that's messed up"

"I have a friend that's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop anytime."

"What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby I think I'm falling for you!"

"what if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside"

"Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe..."

"What is Sacha Baron Cohen's favorite ion? Borate."

"To weigh 50 kilos and say that you're fat, that is so female..."

"I used to think it was cool to be into guys 10+ years my senior but turns out all they want to do is talk about tv shows I never watched"

"I was at a very awkward party last night in an Igloo. I tried to break the ice, but it just made things worse."

"Why do you need patience at the gym? Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head."