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Joke of the Day

"I used to think it was cool to be into guys 10+ years my senior but turns out all they want to do is talk about tv shows I never watched"

"[campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs."

"the college art history director was instructing the graduating class on what to do during the ceremony One girl says to another ""does this dumb old codger think we dont know how to work a tassle?"""

"Who likes a good baseball joke? How can you tell if a catcher has the shits? The pitcher got some on his balls. ;p"

"it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying ""pasta la vista, baby"" to people. why would you put that on a resume"

"""Lethal Weapon"" is my favorite movie about how to fix a dislocated shoulder."

"I'm that asshole who puts an ""o"" at the end of a word and calls it Spanish."

"If Obama is a Muslim extremist, then how come he's a gay prostitute?"

"My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup."

"What do you call a missing shape? A polygone!"