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Joke of the Day
"I used to be in a band called 500Mb...... But we had to break up because we couldn't get a gig."
Next Joke
"President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom."
"I've heard that Americans don't find paedo jokes funny Guess they're just a bit touchy"
"[At Mall] Good cop: CLEAR A PATH PEOPLE! Bad cop: OFFICIAL POLICE BUSINESS Black Friday cop: *Segways past everyone & gets the last HDTV*"
"[killer enters home in middle of night] ME: Who goes there? KILLER: Haha ME: What KILLER: Who still says ""Who goes there"" ME: Ok laugh it up"
"It's rude to ask probing questions . . . doubly so to alien abductees."
"Do you think they named April Fool's Day in your honor?"
"""Blow me."" -Soup."
"Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?"
"I hardly know you... but, Facebook says it's your birthday, so happy birthday!"