231004

Joke of the Day

"""Blow me."" -Soup."

"I'm gonna strap a snowblower on my roof and start driving south. When someone asks me what it is, that's where I'm gonna live."

"IDEA: Cry HoleTM - the hole you can cry in"

"Why don't all Libertarian candidates have dwarfism? I thought Libertarians believed in small government."

"What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman."

"Two antennas meet on a roof and fall in love... They date for awhile, get engaged, and then get married. The wedding ceremony itself wasn't that great, but the reception was amazing!"

"North Korean leader Kim Jong-un got married. Proving there's someone for every un."

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner."

"I called the bowling alley today and asked if they had 10 pound balls. He said ""yes"", which I thought was amazing for how fast he was able to run to the phone."

"People who say ""the future is now"" don't understand how time works."