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Joke of the Day

"I am 51 and my girlfriend is 8 Months pregnant and I'm starting to panic a little. Do you think I am too old to be a dad?"

"I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun."

"[Working in a hospital] ME: Well, this guy's autopsy is done NURSE: You mean tonsillectomy ME: Uh oh"

"My wife tells me my conspiracy theory obsession is getting out of control.. I wonder how much the government paid her to say that."

"What is a monster's favourite drink? Demonade."

"What do you call a midget with leprosy? A leperchaun!"

"Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own? It was two-tired. *Slaps knee* *Prosthetic leg falls off*"

"What method does the Australian god use to part the Red Sea? Oz Moses."

"I once met a Republican feminist She told me to Czech my privilege."

"""Kumail. Kumail. K. U. M. No. M. Just write Jason."" - me right after ordering coffee"