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Joke of the Day

"What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11? When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way."

"You look like the type of person who would try to write a check for a drug deal."

"Think about something positive! What's the first thing that comes to your mind? My HIV test."

"How many Americans does it take to change a bulb? None, Mexicans do it for them."

"What refreshing beverage will no red-blooded American male ever drink again ? ... wait for it ... an ice-cold Bruceski"

"I had diarrhea till 5am It was shitty"

"Unexpected sex... ....is a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison."

"And that's how the fight started My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started...."

"Had to quit my job as an underwear model because the photographer kept telling me, ""I'm just a cashier"" and that I ""need to leave Macy's."""

"What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees."