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Joke of the Day

"What is time consuming? Eating a watch. . . . . Note: This is not my joke, credit goes to /u/Cokenut, and /u/Fluffy8x for setting him up."

"[Wildebeest being lowered Mission Impossible-style from a helicopter to graze the grasses of Buckingham Palace]"

"Eskimo: If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell? Priest: No, not if you don't know Eskimo: Then why did you tell me?"

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand? quatro cinco"

"What do you call a group of cars ? A clutch !"

"Wife: It's not a chick flick! Me: was the movie released in February? W: yes. M: are they standing back to back on the cover? W: sigh.. yes"

"PATIENT: I've been so stressed out lately. What can I do? DR DOG (tail wagging like crazy): Studies show that petting dogs relieve stress"

"Hey other men: I'm tweeting this from your mom's phone. The implication being that she's sexually promiscuous: a big insult in our culture."

"What do you call two lesbians on a canoe? Fur Traders"

"Marriage consists of three rings.... engagement ring wedding ring and suffering"