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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?"

"A Priest and a Rabbi See a 8yr Old Boy. The priest says, ""Lets Fuck Him."" Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five."

"I saw a post about Trump supporters... And I wondered why someone would need a supporter when they have such tiny fingers."

"Opened a can of expired beans and an eagle flew out carrying a photo of a can of fresh beans. I nervously ate the photo while he observed."

"I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food."

"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? If she has to chew before she swallows."

"It's great to see that the French finally grew a pair of balls and took down a German Aircraft... but the war ended 70 years ago"

"The 70s had it right. Back then, ugly people were allowed to make music."

"After watching TV with my kids, I think I have figured out what's wrong with this generation....their cartoons suck."