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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ? Scott !"

"If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days."

"What do you call a fat person with a flat butt? A hipobottomless"

"I was standing out side the other day and a bat flew at my head it was a Louisville Slugger and I don't remember much after that."

"Why do sorority girls travel in odds? Because they can't even!"

"I was going to tell a dead baby joke... But some people don't get prop humour."

"It's just a flesh wound... *looks down at hibachi knives I just pretended I was Master Chef with* *looks at bystander I just chop chopped*"

"Whenever i am lonely or depressed my piano makes me feel better... Its an appreciating asset."

"If your opinion about global warming is based on the weather outside then you don't deserve to have an opinion about global warming"

"Beastie Boys is putting out another album! Update: It's been cancelled due to sabotage."