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Joke of the Day

"If ""The Breakfast Club"" were filmed today, it would be a silent movie about 5 teens looking at their phones."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"An ESPN ad just popped up with, ""Want to keep up with the Women's NCAA Tournament? Click the link below!"" Ha... ESPN, always the comedian."

"What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well it's back to the old grind!"

"What's the matter son? The boy next door said I look just like you? What did you say? Nothing he's bigger than me !"

"What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive"

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.."

"Sorry I'm late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic."

"A grasshopper hops into a bar... The bartender sees him and says ""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper looks up and says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"I remember when I was a virgin I thought I'd remember every single time I got laid Since I've been married though I can't remember the last time I've had sex"