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Joke of the Day

"Went to see the new "" pixels "" movie but The resolution was bad"

"How did the chewing gum cross the road? By sticking to the chicken's foot."

"I can't come into work. I opened a cursed sarcophagus and now I gotta put a pharaoh's soul to rest. I DUNNO, TAD, I'LL PROBABLY BE IN MONDAY"

"Seems hypocritcal that we allow women who could be on there period at any given time on TV,but we make fun of a man 4 a fart, goes both ways"

"Why do Jews not support arranged marriages? Because the Torah doesn't allow ""force kin""."

"Why was the waffle jealous of the pancake? The pancakes was flattered."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face."

"The ruling that legal papers can now be ""served"" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?"

"When my neighbor's bed starts rhythmically hitting the wall, I like to drum back. Last night, we had a real jam session going."

"Whats the last thing you give a tickle me elmo before it leaves the factory? Two test-tickles."