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Joke of the Day
"Whats the last thing you give a tickle me elmo before it leaves the factory? Two test-tickles."
Next Joke
"Blood is thicker than water. Maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it."
"Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through his opening monologue without laughing"
"Why did the man quit his job at the bakery? He didn't knead any more dough."
"My wife & I play this sexy game where she dresses up like a schoolgirl, then I dress up like a schoolgirl then we sit down & learn fractions"
"I dont mind you texting during a movie as long as you dont mind me creeping in your bedroom at 3am & doing Gangnam Style w a pack of hyenas."
"Twitter action film: MAN 1: Follow me. MAN 2: On Twitter? MAN 1: No. Physically, follow me. Or you'll be killed. MAN 2: On Twitter?"
"Have you read the book ""100-mile Horse Trek"" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore"
"Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars. Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's."
"I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget."