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Joke of the Day

"I had intimate contact with Jesus... ...in a Mexican jail cell."

"There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend. Czech mate. Edit: Australian, ty unsc_luke"

"The time traveler was still hungry after his meal... So he went back four seconds."

"NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks"

"The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim. The Empire Strikes Back, they call it."

"The worst thing about babies is how little they appreciate all the sleep they get."

"You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone."

"New dating app for German Catholic Priests Kinder"

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. Plus a portable phone an Internet link and a copy of the ""Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."""

"What do sex in a canoe and American beer have in common? They're both fucking close to water."