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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. Plus a portable phone an Internet link and a copy of the ""Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."""

"""Take Your Child to Work Day"" must be awkward at the dildo factory."

"I measured my penis today and it said 11.7 inches. Then I realized the ruler was backwards. Credit to /u/TodoJaw21"

"Pete and Repeat went into a bar, Pete came out who was left?"

"[dog walking a human] *walks by a coffeeshop with its door open* HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there"

"How come ""you're a peach"" is a complement but ""you're bananas"" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?"

"Two antennas got married. The ceremony was nothing to write home about, but the reception was outstanding."

"Lesbian Pick Up Line ""Hey girl, you wanna go swimming? We can do the scissor kick."""

"If Ekans is Snake backwards and Abroc is Cobra backwards... What does that say for Muk?"

"I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted."