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Joke of the Day

"Actual ""dad"" joke from my dad What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water? Mouse to Mouse resuscitation."

"When life gives you lemons... Attempt to weaponize lemonade."

"Why do gay people smoke cigarettes? They love butts in their mouth"

"Just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper ""get out of me"" and then start to cry. God I hate the Olive Garden."

"Did you see the headline about the film director who stormed off set after someone filled his trailer with herbs? Michael Bay Leaves"

"I don't like telling people who have Beatlemania a joke. If they don't get it, they just won't let it be."

"I like my coffee like I like my women From a third world country and covered in cream"

"Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!"

"Me: I killed another one, boss. Mob boss: You don't work for me. Me: I volunteered. Mob boss:*Looking angry* Me: I'm gonna get back to work."

"I'm going to make a heavy metal band ... and call it Lead Zeppelin."