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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to make a heavy metal band ... and call it Lead Zeppelin."
Next Joke
"I feel more shame when someone glances at my computer or phone and catches me looking at Facebook, than I would if it were porn."
"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status..."
"What do you call an unfinished Tennis match? Wimble-not-don :D"
"Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years."
"This summer I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say, 'Get a life' on them. Demetri Martin"
"Why was the whale lonely after his date? The other whale didn't humpback."
"A silly little joke I just made up about schizophrenia Person 1: I'm not schizophrenic! Person 2: I never said you were. Person 1: Oh, sorry, I guess I must be hearing things."
"If my wife were a car, she'd be a Ferrari. I paid through the nose for it but only take it out for a spin maybe once a month. ... Also, I wish I had a Ferrari."
"What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ? A cow that can milk itself !"