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Joke of the Day

"Never treat someone like an iPhone when they treat you like a BlackBerry."

"What happened to the pessimistic abortion doctor? He developed a de-fetus attitude."

"You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's Me. I love you."

"My girlfriend wanted me to go to yoga with her the other day. I waved her off and said ""Nah 'ma stay."""

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."

"I made a new joke. I made a new word. Plagiarism."

"How do you confuse a complete idiot ? 32"

"A robot walks into a bar; says he needs to loosen up. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver."

"I'm having one of those days where I feel like the single soggy onion ring that somehow made it into an order of french fries."

"Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."