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Joke of the Day

"I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says ""oh great, dinner and a show."" Priceless."

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"Bethesda Softworks announce that Fallout 4 will be postponed until April 2016 Don't worry you are on the jokes section"
"Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race."
"I really hate arguments about fractions. They're divisive."
"My Thanksgiving, in math √-1 ——   8"
"Kristen Stewart is proof that if you're making a face and someone slaps you on the back it will get stuck like that forever."
"Me: k well my phones gonna die so I'll ttyl Mom: But ur office is a landline? Me: oh...so it is....K well the building is on fire, sooo ttyl"
"My niece was in the hospital getting treatment for leukemia. She asked me if I'd visit her when she got out. I said ""Nah, I really hate cemeteries."""
"If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza."
"What's the cheapest type of meat? Deer Balls. They're under a buck."
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