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Joke of the Day

"Charles Dickens walks into a bar He orders a martini. The bartender asks, ""Olive or twist?"""

"So we didn't get the first woman President, it's an even bigger step... ...the first developmentally disabled President!"

"No child left behind! Act of 2001, The legislation was proposed by President George W. Bush Behind what? behind the Front line. . ."

"Did you hear the story about the frog? It was ribbeting."

"I told the Starbucks batista my name was Mary Krismas... They still can't get the spelling right."

"A termite walks into a bar... And asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"I saw a Sword-Swallowing act on TV and it said 'Don't try this at home'. So I went to the park and tried it. Still fucking hurt myself."

"What will latent pedophiles pay a hooker extra to wear? pedo-pushers"

"What's the difference between Jesus and picture of Jesus ? It takes only one nail to hold the picture up"

"To hell with syncing the Titanic... I named my iPhone ""ass"" so I could back that ass up."