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Joke of the Day

"A lion offspring asked his dad ""What is a world series?"" ""I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"""

"What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it."

"what's wrong if everything is all right? There's nothing left"

"What do blondes and computer have in common? You never appreciate them until they go down on you. [Source](http://www.vice.com/kids-telling-dirty-jokes/david-741) edit: computers"

"Q . what did the sign on the whore house say?A: Beat it we are closed"

"The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the ""I'm sick"" voice."

"I don't believe in most conspiracies....but 7-11 IS an inside job."

"I miss you like... post your funny ending! let's see what we get..."

"*wakes up from 20 year coma* SHIT, MY TAMOGOTCHI"

"Currently the most offensive joke going through my head. What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines? A Dishonourable Discharge."