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Joke of the Day

"Weather channel: It's going to get up into the mid-30's this afternoon but it'll still feel like it's in the teens. Me: Literally me."

"*texts god* Me: yo, can we add ""being a grammar nazi"" to the list of sins? Their annoying. God: *they're"

"If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut."

"Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags? Because it's traveling light!"

"I don't drink water anymore, not after what it did to the Grand Canyon"

"What did the black man say to the Mexican? Hey. Watermelawn."

"1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin"

"Cop: we have you surrounded! Get down on the ground now! Cardboard Man: sigh not again *cops start breakdancing*"

"First World Problems How to create FWP, Get a dog and a boy and throw the boy down the well and go get your dog to save him because you to lazy to do it *AMERICA*"

"A Bill Dawes one-liner ""Sex with two guys and a girl isn't called a threesome it's gay sex with a witness"""