121661

Joke of the Day

"If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut."

"A Truck full of terrapins going north and a truck full of tortoises going south... They collide. It was a turtle disaster."

"What does autocorrect and women have in common? They both jump to concussion"

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team? She kept running away from the ball."

"A man takes his shoe off in church... Man 1: *takes off shoe and starts peering inside of it* Man 2: ""What the problem?"" Man 1: *Sighs* "" I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole """

"Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons? (if you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up."

"Why do teen girls travel in groups of three? Because they literally can't even."

"Why isn't there golf in the Paralympics? Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was."

"A one liner I thought up while watching Anthony Bourdain's new show... ""I've seen more crazy shit than Anthony Bourdain's ass hole."""

"I got a Rolex for his birthday from the lesbians next door. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch."