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Joke of the Day

"1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin"

"What's the only thing that could have saved George Michael? A whambulance"

"They should make halloween albums like they do for Christmas. I'd love to hear a Michael Buble version of Monster Mash."

"In a courtroom... *Mickey. mouse, it says here you want to divorce mini because she was... extremely silly? ""No! I said she was fucking goofy!!"""

"My boyfriend is the best cook With only two nuts, a sausage and some milk he can fill my stomach for 9 months."

"I hope to one day ride in a crowded elevator and make knowing eye contact with the man sent to kill me."

"What's in common between Batman and a black guy? They can't go into a store without Robin"

"My Voodoo doll would be a glazed ham wrapped in chicken feathers."

"How does a feminist ask for Halloween candies? Trigger Treat."

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant Me: You gotta be joking! Her: No, I'm serious! Me: Hi, Serious! I'm dad."