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Joke of the Day

"Did anyone lose a roll of twenties wrapped in a rubberband? I found the rubberband!"

"[at a loud bar] HIM: [yelling] DO U HAVE ANY PLANS AFTER THIS? HER: [also yelling] YES I DO ACTUALLY HAVE PLANTS THAT I KISS"

"Saw a FB group called 'I hate rapists'. *Phew* glad we solved that problem. Anything else we need to tackle while I've got the keyboard out?"

"Some asshole just clogged my toilet"

"Did you hear Mr. Fanatic started delivering gifts to children? They call him the elastic clause."

"I want so badly for crayons to taste like their color."

"I heard Nintendo once planned to change Donkey Kong's name for their audience in Germany There, he was originally gonna be called ""Danke Kong"""

"My favorite exercise is a mix between a lunge and a crunch It's called lunch"

"Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 332 words."

"I was nervous my first day in, so I walked up to the toughest guy in the cafeteria and knocked him out... but I lost my job as a middle school teacher"