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Joke of the Day

"Saw a FB group called 'I hate rapists'. *Phew* glad we solved that problem. Anything else we need to tackle while I've got the keyboard out?"

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"just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people"
"A woman goes to the doctor... The doctor asks ""What seems to be the problem?"" She responds, ""Every time I sneeze, I orgasm"" The doctor ask, ""Are you taking anything for it?"" ""Yeah, pepper."""
"Men simply like to adjust their junk, it's not pocket science."
"I went to the gym the other day... ...I asked the instructor could he teach me to do the splits. How flexible are you? He asked. I can't do Tuesdays. -Tommy Cooper"
"Today, I played God. I saw a bug, suffering. I watched it for a couple of minutes. Then I kept watching, and watching, and watching..."
"My safe word is ""I WANT YOUR BABIES"""
"What's a narcissist's favorite color? Reflection"
"Apparently Great Clips doesn't like it when you sit in there 8hrs/day chomping on a cigar shouting HE AINT PRETTY NO MORE after every cut"
"What do you call a wookie in concentration camp? Jewbacca"