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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Mr. Fanatic started delivering gifts to children? They call him the elastic clause."

"What do you call the beautiful women in Australia... Tourists."

"If I could go back in time and talk to my ten year old self My parents probably would've put a restraining order on me."

"I met the inventor of the crossword last week. Can't remember his name. P something T something R."

"Most days I feel like three kids stacked up on each other's shoulders, covered by a huge coat, trying to pass as one of all these grown-ups."

"Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer."

"Herpes is such a strong word, I prefer penis sprinkles."

"(Dark humor) what's the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"The French military suffered a major loss today... Their largest white flag factory burned to the ground."

"What happens if a line doesn't get enough Vitamin C? It gets curvy."