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Joke of the Day

"I was nervous my first day in, so I walked up to the toughest guy in the cafeteria and knocked him out... but I lost my job as a middle school teacher"

"December 1 is the biggest day in the plumbing business as millions of ill-prepared men shave their mustaches over a sink"

"My boss fired me because I didn't attend the meeting as I had to answer an important call. Apparently nature's call doesn't count as important to him"

"How to piss off a female archaeologist... Hand her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from."

"What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks"

"Whats a Plumber's favorite vegetable? A Leek!"

"A lion would never cheat on his wife... But a Tiger Wood."

"It's odd how they name storms, but they don't name calms. There's a gentle breeze this morning. I think I'll call him Doug."

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg"

"Tip for teens: If you're buying booze with a fake ID, the easiest way to seem legitimately older is to wear a wedding ring"